Gunterheusenstein..

Tell me about the character Gunterheusenstien...
The most amusing will be the winner of Gunterheusenstienfest
the winner will be awarded 'bard points' which can be used for a number of things, as long as you count "zero" as a number.

ahem. gunterheusenstein!!

I'm working on it. I still haven't figured out why he only has one ear yet.

Gunterheusenstein was the smallest giant of them all. Infact he was so small he could almost pass as an abnormaly large human. While growing up he was always picked on by other giants . But little did they know that someday they would all be under his control. See all of the bullying and calling him names drove poor Gunterheusenstein mad. He soon dropped out of school and started to do his own research and experiments.
From dawn till dusk he would pace back and forth in his secret underground evil lair, scheming constantly scheming. Trying to cogitate a plan that will make everyone pay for how they treated him. He spent almost a year devising his plan. This plan, the greatest plan ever, was to rule the world! (MWWWHAHAHAHA!!!!! ) He saw the flaw in all other attempts to acheive this very same goal. His predecessor's all used brute force and failed.
Gunterheusenstein was smarter, he knew the one and only way to rule the world would be to control their minds! So he developed a poison that would replace the parts of the brain that controlled movement, thought, memories, and speech with a computer like program that was designed so only he could use it.
He knew that the main person he would need to poison would be Kanye West the president, so to say, of the world. The only problem was getting the poison into a drink or food that he wood be eatting. Ever since he became a total douche, and interupts people in the middle of their speeches, he has tightened his personnal security. So for a couple of months he studied the habits of Kanye's personnal security until he found the one mistake they made every time. Whenever he would go out to eat they would never watch what went into the food.
TO BE CONTINUED

lol! looking forward to more.
...of course kayne west is president.

Gunterheusenstien was like most kenders, fearless and rash. He only wanted to see a dragons teeth or grab a displacer beast's tail. However each time he went to acuire such an adventure his friends would always stop him. No fun he would think as Lilania, a slender female elf, grabbed his cloak for what seemed liek the 100th time. Poor Gunter (as his friends called him, thinking his name was just a fake one) was stuck in the back water town of Olginhiem where dragons hardly EVER attacked.
That was until Gunter's 26th spring there (an AWFULLY long time for a wanderlusting kender), during the autumn Brush Festival. It was a bright night, mainly because of the fifty foot tall burning pyre in the town center. It was on this fateful night that Gunter and Lilania would leave this town forever. In the dead of night a shuffling could be heard in a nearby house. An awfully large shuffling at that!
With a large crash a monsterous figure came hurling out of the house. A screams went wild thoughout the night sky Gunter stared in awe, his VERY FIRST ogre sighting! He was beyond estatic, as villagers went running in a wide array of directions he contimplated either poking it with his stick or trying to climb on it. Both of these required him to get close and as he trotted toward it.. "GUNTER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!" Lilania shouted. Gunter was determined to atleast have a little fun with the ogre before Lilania made him stop and he double timed toward the creature.
Now from the ogre's perspective it was a rather odd sight. Usually he had to run and chase and smash his way to food, a quite exhausted endevour, and here came a bite size snack running toward him. As the ogre was about to swing his club, preping his meal for proper "eats" when the ground erupted with vines. A rather startled ogre had no time to react as the enchanted vines pulled him to the ground. Looking around he noticed the elf was standing there staff held high and drudic magics pooring off of her.
Gunter of course didn't care about any of this he happily accepted the trapped ogre as somethign to decidely poke. After a few good pokes Gunter found himslef being picked up by Lilania and fleeted away toward the forest.
"Lily.."
"NOT NOW GUNTER... AND DONT CALL ME THAT!"
"But the town is the other..."
"I know you idiot"
Gunter decided Lilania was in one fo those moods that she couldnt be argued with so he happily thought about how tough an ogre's skin was and marveled that he finally got to do somethign fun. After what seemed like forever they stopped in a forest clearing and Lilania dropped Gunter.
"Lily why are we in the forest?"
"Because Gunter, your a dinder head and I had to use some magic to save your life."
"So? And for your information i was jsut going to poke him!"
"Well in anycase we can't go back now"
"Why?"
"I used drudic magic... you know its a forbidden art."
"Oh... I'm sorry Lily"
"..Just stop calling me that, lets get out of this forest before anythign worse comes."
As the two went deeper into the realm Lilanai had no idea the trouble Gunter would be gettign them into. Gunter on the other hand felt that this was a great oppurtunity to follow his dreams, Dragon or Displacer beast was the only questions now.

pokes it with a...a stick?

and the winner is...(check bard rules)